How They Met
Taya remembers the night they met, well some of it. She originally wasn't even going to out that night. She had just moved to the area, didn't have many good friends yet, and casually dated guys without any stress. A little bit before she met Chris, she literally prayed that God would send her a good, nice guy. So, that night a girlfriend called her and wanted to go to San Diego. Taya was living in Long Beach at the time, which is about ninety miles away from San Diego. They had walked by a bar playing " Land Down Under" by Men At Work. The cover charge was outrageous and she didn't want to go into a place with a high cover charge and playing Men At Work. Her friend paid the cover and they went in. She was drinking and irritable when a tall, good-looking guy came over and started talking to her. She was still in a pretty bad mood when he started talking to her, but he had something about him that lightened her mood. She asked him, "What do you do?"
"I drive an ice cream truck." he said
"You're full of crap," she told him/ "You're obviously military."
He protested and continued to play around about what he did. Apparently, SEALs never will tell strangers at first what they really do. He did finally admit to her that he was military and she asked, " So what do you do in the military?"
"I just graduated BUD/S."
She told him that she knew all about them. She told him that they were all self-centered, arrogant, and glory seeking. He pondered over why she said that and then he said, "I would lay down my life for my country. How is that self-centered? That's the complete opposite."
That night, he got her phone number and soon after that they started dating.
"I drive an ice cream truck." he said
"You're full of crap," she told him/ "You're obviously military."
He protested and continued to play around about what he did. Apparently, SEALs never will tell strangers at first what they really do. He did finally admit to her that he was military and she asked, " So what do you do in the military?"
"I just graduated BUD/S."
She told him that she knew all about them. She told him that they were all self-centered, arrogant, and glory seeking. He pondered over why she said that and then he said, "I would lay down my life for my country. How is that self-centered? That's the complete opposite."
That night, he got her phone number and soon after that they started dating.
Scared
She was terrified the whole time as the buildup to another war began. Chris had called twice with stories about helicopters going down. He would call and tell her in case it was televised and she wouldn't freak out. One time he called her to tell her that was going on another helicopter mission and would call her when he could. The next morning she woke up and was watching the news, only to see that a helicopter had went down by the border and everyone had died. The helicopter was full of special forces soldiers. She told herself she wouldn't panic and that she would keep herself busy with work until she heard from him. The day went on and she still never heard from him. She couldn't sleep, she cried uncontrollably until around one o'clock in the morning he called her sounding happier than ever and all she could do was cry.
Emotional Times
It was a very emotional time, both families were in town for the birth of their son but everyone knew Chris would be leaving soon again. That's what was hard. Chris had trouble handling the babies crying at night. He could handle war but not a crying baby? That makes a lot of since, right? What was the most bothersome was that all the magic and memories and growing were going to happen while he was g0ne and only she would be able to enjoy them when they should enjoy it together. She was nervous about how she would handle it, having their first child and her husband being gone. She was even mad at him at the same time for leaving her and their newborn baby son alone. But no matter how mad she got, she couldn't help but love him anyways.
Tuberculosis
At one point during a deployment, a doctor diagnosed him with TB. The doctors told him he would eventually die from it. By the time she got the news, he was already accepting that he was going to die, and that she would go on to find someone else. He even wanted to die overseas rather than at home. She tried telling him that he was irreplaceable but he wouldn't take it. He was to deadest on the fact that he was going to die, and she would find someone else. Luckily, they retried the test and he was cleared. Sadly, his thought about death remained the same.
Re-enlistment
They had multiple confrontations over his reenlistment, it was coming up and tensions were rising. She felt he had done his duty, but he certainly felt differently. She's always believed that your responsibility should be God, family, and country- in that order. HE thought it should be country, family, God. He always told her that if she told him not to reenlist, that he wouldn't but she couldn't do that. She thought he would just hate her and resent her because of it, so she never said anything. She would tell him though that whatever he chooses, she will know where she ad their son stands. And when he reenlisted anyway. She knew he cared more about being a SEAL than being a father or husband.
Rocky Patch
Things eventually got to the point where she felt like she was looking down into a deep pit. It wasn't just arguing over the kids anymore; it was never being able to relate to each other anymore. She could tell that his mind strayed away from marriage, and them in general. One night, she just unloaded to a good friend who had been through a lot. And she told her that, " Well this is what you have to do. You have to lay it all on the line. You have to tell him that you love him, and you want him to stay, but if he wants to go, he is free to do so." She took her advice and told him just that, it was a hard hard conversation for the both of them. She knew several things in her heart. First off, she knew she loved Chris. Second, he was very important to her and a good dad. She had seen him with their son and daughter. He had a strong sense of discipline and respect, but at the same time, loved to play and have fun with the kids. Those two things helped convince her that she had to keep their marriage together. They both came to terms that to make it work, they had to come together as a team and make it work.
In or Out
His enlistment was coming to an end and again here came the decision on whether or not to keep leaving his family or be thee for them. At this point in their lives, their son really needed a strong male figure in his life. And Chris wasn't going to be able to uphold that if he enlisted again, so she told herself that if he enlisted again, she would move closer to her parents so her son could have a strong male figure in his life. But, even though she loved her parents, she didn't want to do that. She wanted Chris to do that since that was his job too, being a father, not just a sniper in the SEALs. Chris really loved them all, he really did want to nurture a strong family. Most of it came down to, what are your priorities? To her, Chris had done more than needed for this country and had done a tremendous job at what he did. Chris on the other hand, thought he didn't do enough and needed to keep going. But, as always she couldn't make the decision for him. The Navy ended up telling him that they could send him back to Texas to be a recruiter. And he agreed to that, they initially told him the process would take a while, but his orders never came. So he decided to be done with it. He always said, "I feel like a quitter." She knows he done his job and more, and no one would blame him for finally getting out.